Pain and Love

The epilogue to a difficult election

I used to claim that I am a resident of the nation’s high five (Michigan), but lately I feel like my state let the country down. Despite the disappointment, the painful election results have led me to fall in love with my wife and our nation all over again.  

Let me explain: We wept as the results came in on election night and retreated to our own ways of coping. I sulked and my wife Beata went on a shopping spree. She warned me Thursday morning that she had indulged in some “binge shopping” to deal with her frustration, which was not like her. A couple days later, I got home from my job as a high school social studies teacher to find boxes of books for our young children (8 and 4) about multiculturalism, world religions and kindness. One book was titled, “If I were President” with a young girl featured on the cover. This was the shopping binge?

I affectionately refer to this great group of people as my

"Persian Family." They demonstrate the best of our diverse 

nation. We need to commit to actively fighting against division 

so we can change a culture that  accepts hate as an 

inconsequential cost of American politics. 

Over the course of the next week, more books arrived and the conversations at our dinner table turned to messages of hope and helping others. A child alone on the playground? Invite him to play in your game. A clash of ideas in school? Listen and try to understand, without fighting to be right. If someone is struggling, offer to help.     

My wife decided in her despair that if the world needed to be made better, we should start with our own family and branch out. While I remained in a fog, Beata took action. With grace, she inspired me to step up in my classroom and to hang on to hope that with a renewed purpose, we could overcome the terrible setback of a Trump victory.  

These books and our conversations at home took a profound turn when our son asked us, “Why did people make a bully the president?” and “Can he (Trump) start now so the four years will get done faster?” When our son asked, “Will Trump’s wall keep us from meeting our cousins who live in Iran?” it hit me just how closely he had been paying attention to the hateful tone of Trump’s campaign.

You see, Beata is the daughter of Iranian immigrants. Her parents worked in the fast food industry in the 1970’s and 80’s as they climbed on to the first rung of opportunity in the United States. They alternated shifts so they could advance their education and raise their family.

To me, a white male from rural Michigan, my wife’s parents epitomize the American Dream I never had to think about while growing up. With hard work, incredible sacrifice and an unwavering commitment to each other they made a life that we are grateful for every day. They raised Beata and her sister to be strong, loving and open-minded. Beata has a successful career and my children are blessed with a wonderful mother. My wife's parents have both achieved advanced degrees and professional success. More importantly, they have done so while sharing the beauty of their culture with their family, helping others and embracing people of all backgrounds. My Persian parents are remarkably loving and kind so naturally it hit a little closer to home when Trump promoted the idea of a “watch list” for Americans from Muslim nations. When Trump spoke with brazen contempt of immigrants and fueled hateful rhetoric toward the various groups he views as a threat, the sting was felt in our home.
  

A couple of the books Beata ordered so we could grow love

in our family. I renewed my energy after Election Day by 
looking in the mirror and putting action to my aspirations. Now,
more than ever, is the time to remain mindful and intentional.

This election has reminded me that the fight for good starts in our homes and our communities. My wife Beata moved to Southeast Michigan in 2004, a far cry from Portland, Ore. where she grew up. At that time she was a journalist in Flint and we were just beginning our life together. Beata was living a dream afforded by the First Amendment that her father never had the luxury of enjoying in Iran. Her father, once jailed for political expression in his homeland, has always been Beata’s biggest cheerleader. He has taught me first-hand about a father’s devotion to family.  

I have been a high school social studies teacher for sixteen years and I use my platform to help students learn American values like equality, the common good and diversity. My mother embraces diversity and she has shown me what it means to help others. Strong women make me a better man. My mom is a resilient woman and there’s no doubt that I was attracted to my wife because of the lessons from my mom.

Celebrating Election Day as a
family. We went to dinner and
talked about voting afterward.

Lessons passed on can live for a long time. I remind my high school students that when hate and division are employed as a political strategy to promote “otherness” that it is not enough to simply understand that it is wrong. It is our civic duty to push back against hate. Speak out. Be heard. Hillary Clinton, Khizr Khan and Michelle Obama modeled how to stand up to hate.

That discomfort felt in the pit of your gut when you confront bigotry or sexism is a sign that plenty of challenging work needs to be done. Beata helps me resist the temptation to be dismissive or to let up on the vision of America we have for our children. Privilege may afford some people a lack of understanding and this election has brought that to light on a grand scale. We need to acknowledge truths and have those difficult conversations. No matter our political leanings, empathy is the key to making the world a better place. Well, empathy and a strong commitment to helping others.  

My own family from rural Michigan has strong ties to the Democrat party and community activism. My grandfather served as a Marine and was wounded on Iwo Jima in WWII. He is my hero and he taught us about compassion and love for community. My grandfather, a patriot, fought to advance American progress so that we might live in a nation capable of appreciating the patriotism of my my Persian family, and the millions of others like them who make the United States special.    

My lifeline of support growing up. That's me - the youngest child to the right 
in my mom's lap. My family lives their values and do not preach about them.  

They help others, work hard and motivate me to strive to be a better person.

At the moment, I can’t help but feel bad about reassuring my Persian family in Oregon that Michigan would deliver and Hillary would be our president. After all, Hillary stands for so many of the values and ideas ideas we embrace as part of our national fabric. I was swept up in my excitement that Michigan would join with millions of voters representing different races, ethnicities, religions and sexual orientations to shatter the glass ceiling and make her our president. I failed to realize that our brand of patriotism was not necessarily understood by others.

I was reminded by level-headed friends who voted for Trump that fear can be a strong force to overcome and love needs people willing to fight vigorously for the cause. Beata has compelled me to share the story of love, devotion and hard work that has been her family's experience in hopes others will embrace the diverse America we love so deeply.

In defeat, we have come together to celebrate the promise of uniting people. Our nation will benefit from some measure of optimism and kindness. Beata’s intentional acts to teach our children how to love inspires me to deliver on the promise of our country.

We are just getting started.

Elevate your voice

Click to access the Huffington Post published version of my open letter 

A nasty election is a pitiful excuse to stop caring

A letter to high school students and first-time voters that everyone should read. 

To my high school students,

I am deeply concerned about the consequences this election may have on your view of American democracy, and I want to offer you a new perspective.

First of all, I will enthusiastically cast my ballot Tuesday along with millions of Americans. No matter the amount of effort involved, I always look forward to voting. Do not confuse election fatigue with the awesome responsibility to vote.

Your tired expression in class when we talk about this election makes sense to me. You may think I am obligated as your teacher to be a cheerleader for democracy. That’s not the case. I hope that you will want to vote. Our nation is held together by our commitment to progress. Voting is a sacred pact we make with past and future generations. My sincerity alone isn’t enough for my message to get through to all of you so please give this letter a read in its entirety. Consider your stake in all of this.

A Fixed Mindset is Dangerous

The negativity surrounding this election has left a lot of you feeling that our problems are so enormous that failure is inevitable. You are not alone. Pessimism drives this fixed mindset about American politics and ultimately it weakens our democracy.  

People with a fixed mindset believe that the chances of success within our political system are unlikely and predetermined. Some of you have told me that you think our presidential candidates represent a system that is broken beyond repair. To your credit, there is plenty of evidence to suggest you may be right. The influence of special interests and the breakdown of compromise in the national government makes it appear unlikely that things will improve.

Subscribing to a fixed mindset, even though it may be rational, ignores the legacy of who we are as Americans. A fixed mindset is a contradiction to our achievements and it is dangerous to our American way of life. Naturally, it is difficult to advance progress while simultaneously whining about the election process. The negativity surrounding this election may give you the false impression that American democracy is stagnant, incapable of improving. Nothing could be further from the truth.  

Throughout the nation, people are having civilized conversations about real concerns - healthcare, the cost of college, jobs and law enforcement relationships with citizens. Elections are fiery, but it is in the day to day where you find the real pulse of democracy in the United States. Like you, I am concerned about the intolerance displayed in this election and I am hopeful we can find a better normal. Sell-outs and frauds mope around and incessantly complain without taking action. Traditionally, people who care take action in positive ways by joining volunteer groups, going door to door to share ideas or speaking at town halls coast to coast.

Public expression may not be your thing yet, but there is one thing we all get to do eventually - we get to vote.

We discuss current issues in class because you need to be ready to vote. Casting your vote for someone is a risk worth taking. And yes, as many of you have reminded me, sometimes casting your vote is also about protecting American values and voting against a candidate.  

The demographic you will soon join (18-29 year olds) had less than 20% voter turnout in the 2014 national elections. I fear we may lose even more young voters to a fixed mindset after this election cycle. The negativity some students now associate with the presidency - the most esteemed office in the nation - concerns me. The new president-elect will have an awesome challenge to lead our nation and help restore faith in our political process. In order to maintain confidence in the political institutions that have served the United States for more than two centuries more people need to vote. In order to effectively change how we do politics in this nation, people need to take action. Be heard.  

When you weigh the accomplishments of American democracy against your Twitter feed here and now, it makes sense that you have concerns. I share many of your concerns.

You tell me that since you can’t vote yet there’s no sense in getting involved in the process of analyzing the candidate positions or supporting ideas. You're skeptical about a process that you view as mean-spirited. You report that you are frustrated that it is difficult to understand issues when the media fails to distinguish between fact and fiction.

I get it. The massive amount of information at your disposal is more of a blessing than a curse. You have to work harder to navigate through all the bias, but this is the perfect time for you to explore different political philosophies, ask questions and develop opinions about the country you want. Take advantage of the lessons this campaign is providing and give yourself permission to change your mind as you go. The ability to change your mind in the face of new information is a sign of intellect and strength.

This is an ideal time for you to share your ideas and gain inspiration by learning from great thinkers. The greats come from all walks of life (academic, philosophy, religion, art, music, acting, poetry, etc.) and their ideas stretch the vast political spectrum. Pay close attention because great thinkers may be closer to you than you realize. Learn from people who do not share your opinions and background. Find credible ways to sort through the issues because democracies are not designed to simply favor the noisiest people.

Your voice can influence the political process in several ways, and your vote will be the most significant. Our democracy depends on votes.  

Passionate Debate Strengthens the United States of America

Passionate debate about the role government should play in people’s lives helps us forge our national identity. Elections help us chart our path with some direction. This election cycle has been unique in many regards, but the passionate fight for ideas is not new. Disputes about ideas and strong-willed opposition in the public arena is healthy and that lesson should not be lost in light of this election season. Granted, you may not be inspired by the current candidates, but leave open the possibility that hope exists.

Above the Lincoln Memorial, it reads:

IN THIS TEMPLE 

AS IN THE HEARTS OF THE PEOPLE 

FOR WHOM HE SAVED THE UNION 

THE MEMORY OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN 

IS ENSHRINED FOREVER. 

President Abraham Lincoln (R) only secured about 40% of the nation’s vote in 1860 and he is revered by Democrats and Republicans. President Franklin D. Roosevelt (D), regarded by many historians as one of the best presidents in our nation’s history, still missed out on 40% of the country’s vote in 1932. History validates great leaders and that possibility will exist for our next president too.  

Difficult circumstances often reveal the strengths of our political process. Advancing our imperfect nation in the wake of the War of 1812, the Civil War and slavery coincided with intense debate. Recovering from the Great Depression, two World Wars and the more recent 2008 financial crisis involved suffering from Americans, not just members of one political party or a specific ideology. We persevere and the clash of ideas fuels American progress.

It is also true that our government has promoted the disenfranchisement of people (African Americans and Native Americans for instance) and at times, we continue to fall short on the promises of justice, equality and promoting the common good. The United States government has enacted harmful policies (racial segregation and internment camps for Japanese Americans for instance) and engaged in dishonest behaviors.

Our history should serve as a painful reminder that we need all voices at the table so we can do better. This includes you. Your voice is needed so we can better fulfill the promise of the United States. Our national failures and misdeeds should serve as motivation for you to amplify your voice, not sit out.

Democracy is Messy & Elections have Consequences

The American government has improved the lives of Americans. Criticism when government fails should be met with ideas for improvement. Election results express the direction voters want for our nation and the process can be invigorating, tiring and messy all at the same time. Facts and evidence should outweigh political party loyalty and that alone can get confusing.

Unlearning a fixed mindset about American politics requires a fresh perspective. There’s no one better equipped to bring new ideas and new expectations to the political process than young people. People who choose to remain ignorant are a cancer to a healthy democracy.

Like you, I am also frustrated by politics lately. I just don’t want your dissatisfaction to serve as an excuse to give up. I agree that special interests have too great a role in our political system. I also value honesty and civility among candidates and I hear you -  the Electoral College and two-party system both have glaring weaknesses. The issues you raise in class make sense, but they are not reasons to throw in the towel.

The Capitol, Washington DC 

Misguided frustration leads some people to sit out. The notion that refusing to vote is a useful form of protest is purely foolish.

Popular American essayist David Foster Wallace summed it up well when he wrote, “...stay home if you want, but don't bulls#!it yourself that you're not voting."

He added, "In reality, there is no such thing as not voting: you either vote by voting, or you vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some diehard’s vote.” (Wallace, Up, Simba! Rolling Stone, 2000)

Right now you have the luxury of rationalizing your lack of interest in this election because you are young. The time for justifying a choice to remain clueless is running out. Pretty soon you will not be answering to your government teacher. Instead, it might be a classmate serving in the military or your own children who will be living with the decisions you didn't make. Whatever your level of interest today, keep in mind that apathy has never advanced American progress.

Never.

Generations of Americans struggled for the right to vote and their persistence in the face of incredible odds is the catalyst for my enthusiasm. By placing my trust in an election system that is free of violence and gives everyone an equal voice, I am elevating my voice with my vote.  

I am calling on you to stamp out pessimism, get informed and amplify your voice.

We get the opportunity to express our love for this country by voting in free democratic elections and soon you will have the privilege to vote. With all my heart, I want you to be prepared and most of all, I want you to vote.

Sincerely,

Mr. Gregory

* A pdf version of this letter (2 pages total) can be e-mailed to you upon request. Use the comment section or my email address to make your request.

Culture wars frame the election for students

This is the second in a series of posts I will be writing over the next month about teaching Social Studies during Election season. These reflections are more "off-the-cuff" and some may combine into something worthy of publishing . If I re-draft any pieces here for publication, I will include a link.

THE PUBLISHED HUFFPOST VERSION (Click)

Imagine what the final presidential debate looks like to a high school student

The last few days of class have opened my eyes to a campaign season that we lost control of long ago.

From the beginning of this race, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were sharing the spotlight with videos of police officers shooting black men, a national conversation about the Confederate flag and a baker's religious freedom to decline making a cake for a gay wedding.

South Carolina Capitol Grounds, 2015

Photo by Jason Lander, Creative Commons 

Culture wars about the bathrooms assigned to transgender folks in North Carolina got the attention of students around the same time Trump announced that Mexicans are rapists and he was running for president.

That same year in March 2015, the private computer server sitting in Clinton’s home became a news story shortly after the Justice Department released a report showing that the Ferguson, Mo. Police violated the constitutional rights of the city's African-American residents.

Stop and think about how different news is consumed in 2016 compared to back in the day. Consider the degree of confusion and blame surrounding the conflicts that play out in the media.

Now, imagine your 16 year old self participating in today's political process in today’s information environment. The Internet, Twitter, TV and the 24 hour news cycle make it difficult for young people to avoid the news. Most middle and high school students get a dose of current events nearly everyday at school so young people are taking this election in whether they want to or not.

Laws about gender identity and public 
restrooms confuses students. 

Photo by Wayan Vota, Creative Commons

And our children have been overrun with culture wars pitting passionate people with opposing views against each other.

When ideas clash we’re reminded that different versions of the United States exist - dependent on income, race, education, religion and geography. Family and peers serve as filters for the news my students consume.

It is rational for teens to expect drama at every turn in the race to the White House in a world where facts take a backseat to theatrics and soundbites. Most of my students are not surprised by the antics they see unfolding during the election. From the time they began paying attention, outrage continues to get more play than reason.

Like their adult counterparts, today’s teens are equipped to escape the day to day drudgery of news. Their days are spent doing kid things - algebra, texting friends and going to football games. The news cycle moves at warp speed for teens, but the tone is not lost on them. Even though we move quickly from one headline to the next, students are more aware about what’s going on than their parents, teachers and grandparents were as teens. Whether they understand the implications of what they're witnessing is a separate conversation.

Relevant issues and no political resolve in Congress

For teens, the last couple years of conflict has been their introduction to American politics. The divisions have always existed, but we used to be better at coming to grips with not agreeing. Today's power struggles can't be dealt with in a single protest or piece of legislation.

Talking heads on TV have spun out of control making it difficult to discern honest analysis from propaganda. I am mindful that tension is part of our American political legacy and changing the current political culture will be a slow and messy process.

When students witness or take part in a movement like Black 

Lives Matter it can be a powerful teaching moment. Lessons 

on privilege, values, and  how we view news and social 

justice naturally come up in class. Unpacking Blue Lives 

Matter and lessons from All  Lives Matter has impact.  
(Photo Credit: Creative Commons)

Do today's students have the patience to endure a long road to progress? Do the adults they look to for guidance possess the stamina?

I remind students that change requires equal parts desire, optimism and organization. When I get a tired response from my class I am empathetic. My reminder is also aimed in the mirror.

In the face of real challenges, students are confused about American priorities. In class today, a student compared this campaign season to a bad reality TV show that can’t end soon enough. Another student, in light of our conversation about the election, asked if a president can be impeached right away after they take office. Some students began questioning whether the president is very important to our nation. Their reasoning: nothing gets done anyway.

Sign outside Sandy Hook Elementary School where 20 

children were shot and killed in 2012 along with six 

adults.  Photo By Justin Lane, Creative Commons

Today's high school juniors were in eighth grade when 20 children under the age of eight were gunned down and killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School. They also know that a solution related to violence or mental health in the United States still has not happened. Debate in Congress? Nope.

This December will mark the four year anniversary of Sandy Hook and nothing substantive has changed. High school students recognize that if the preventable death of twenty children does not usher in a spirit of urgency and bipartisanship then it seems nothing will.

In today's America, teens wonder why we struggle so mightily to tackle tough issues. Why are we so scared?

Guns, immigration, racism and wealth inequality are familiar battles in the United States. Throw in women’s health issues (see Texas, Kansas, Alabama or Arkansas for instance), voting rights and religious freedom/discrimination laws (Georgia and Indiana for instance) and the backdrop to the 2016 Presidential election has been firmly in place for a few years. Voters have taken sides and politicians have been reluctant to compromise. My students are watch without expectation.

When they see the debate highlights (or lowlights depending on your perspective), they aren't looking to be inspired. They're looking for it to end.

What should we expect when candidates are demonized not for their ideas, but for their existence. In some circles, supporters of the candidates are diminished too. Despite my best intentions, lessons about James Madison and Thomas Jefferson are falling on deaf ears.

Students report to me that they don’t believe in a system that fails to deliver. Students, like the rest of us, do not see any indication that bipartisan cooperation is even a goal among members of Congress. Adding a vilified president to the mix will just make it worse.

While some students are comfortable assigning blame, most students are trying to make sense of the issues.

Adults owe it to students to talk about facts, weigh the costs and benefits of ideas and try to understand how someone else can see the exact same choices so differently. You can't imagine the amount of on-the-spot fact checking required in a classroom. In fact, I am willing to bet that in a group setting of adults just as much fact checking would be necessary if facts are actually important.

That’s a problem.

Unfortunately, in the world our students are growing up in, problems exist not as challenges to solve together, but as a means to divide people. They are taking their cues from all of us, including the candidates.

Somehow, legit facts become disputed and half-truths can garner so much airtime that they become the truth. All of this contributes to a political environment that makes statesmanship elusive. Legions of hard-liners grandstand in a fight to be the loudest and sometimes I feel like I am watching just to see the blood spill. And I am the teacher, not the teenager.

It is crazy.

I am not casting blame on my students, just frustration about our shared experience. I am the one responsible to create an engaging atmosphere where students can share ideas in class, ask questions and express opinions. They do those things, but sometimes I wonder how we should make meaning of what is happening.

#   #   #   

PS: Classroom circumstances of concern

Vote for the VPs instead

One student quipped that people should cast a vote for the Vice President since whoever wins will likely be impeached or even worse, assassinated. Obviously, that is not a joking matter and we discussed as much in class. The student did not mean it in a mean-spirited way and his point was that with so much hate surrounding this election, it would not surprise him if an attempt was made to take the life of the president.

But the bigger question for me has to do with a willingness of other students to shrug it off which left me wondering if they have just become indifferent or if they really think the situation is so dire that neither candidate can handle the responsibility of being President of the United States.

As alluded to earlier, high school students lack the context and life experiences to grasp national tragedies and turmoil. I was in the same boat as an early 90’s high school student. Think about it - my students were toddlers when the September 11, 2001 attacks happened. They are caught between witnessing an ugly election season today and what they have learned about history from second hand sources at home, in school or with the help of the Internet. Their context right now includes confusion about Black and blue lives mattering, bullying and a litany of social issues that have divided people.

Michelle Obama Speaks to the Nation about Sexism

After watching Michelle Obama’s speech from October 13 about sexism and the challenges women face, my students wrote a reaction. I will read their written reflections later this week, but as students talked in small groups and volunteers shared out to the class it became clear to me that The First Lady’s message hit home. Today's students seem self-aware and certainly more introspective than I recall being when I was a teenager.

On the other hand, I could not help but wonder how our conversation turned away from the merit of her speech and the universal truths we seemed to agree upon. Among the student-raised topics that surprised me was whether Mrs. Obama was justified to get choked up while speaking (How can she really be that upset? It never happened to her.). There was also talk about patterns of behavior and how that informs our opinions of people.

Naturally, the questions about Trump’s accusers and President Bill Clinton’s accusers took center stage. We walked that fine line with respect to due process and acknowledging the awful legacy of victim-blaming in cases of sexual harassment and misconduct. Students showed sensitivity when talking about the courage it takes for victims to speak up which made me proud. When we eventually made it back to the topics in the speech, I had a sense that it is easy for students to distrust the words of any political figure standing behind a microphone. Even with a message that is universally adaptable and above partisanship, a few students expressed indifference or dismay with some aspects of her speech. I was not prepared for that response.

Public Service Needs our Best Young People

Public service is getting a bad name. It concerns me that my students may view a run for elected office in a negative light. The very nature of this election reminds all of us that we need our best people wanting to serve in their communities.

We have spent so much time talking about heavy topics and national politics in class that I can see now that a pivot to local issues and political figures might help students in the long run. A devotion to public service is commendable and I am not sure I have imparted that to my students yet.

If you have ideas about how I can bridge this gap for students, please let me know. As the grandchild of a former mayor, nephew of a current mayor and son of a school board member I know the value of public service. Whether it is giving back as a volunteer or taking up a cause, I want to do help my students see and experience American values in the places they exist outside of national politics.